A Pair Of ‘Genes’, Part 3: The Hair Instruction by DPTemplar
As usual, I’d like to take this time to apologize to any and all people that represent Marvel Comics, especially Stan Lee. I’d also like to apologize to any and all celebrities mentioned (on purpose or by accident) in this tale; this is merely a tale for entertainment. Please enjoy.
John rushed to get the blank videotapes from the store. True, Christina and Angie had their own camcorder, and they had tapes, but they knew they weren’t good enough, that they could be (and should be) better. He’d made home movies before, and knew about storyboarding for movies, so he set up some details before he began to film. They were going to make an instructional video on how to cut hair. Well, most people already know how to cut hair. But when the tape is starring two lovely females who are both with mutant abilities that cause them to have total control of their cell rate, including how fast hair can grow back, then this tape will be quite special, to say the least. The clothes were ready, the props were set, the lines were prepared, and now it was time to begin filming.
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A lovely auburn-haired vision walked in front of the camera; she looked like a tall redheaded Christina Aguilera. She wore a sexy, yet slightly demure, suit that would probably cause a blind man to see.
“Hi. My name is Angie. Today I’m going to show you how to cut hair in many different, fascinating styles. The young lady who will help me is Christina. Can you come out, please?”
A woman who’d be a dead ringer for Asia Carrera stepped out. She had long black hair. LONG. Down to the floor. She was wearing a black t-shirt, and regular jeans. She had no shoes or socks on, so her long flowing hair touched her cute toes. She sat down, and waved to the camera.
“Today, Christina and I will demonstrate different hairstyles. We will not be using a cape today. Have a seat, please. Such lovely hair you have….”
Angie stroked Chris’ hair as it flowed over the back of the chair. She started to brush it out gently.
“Before we start, we’d like to say that all the hair used in this tape will go to Locks of Love,” stated Angie. Then she picked up the scissors. She started to spin them around much like a gunslinger spun his revolver. “We’re going to start with a nice trim, something to the shoulders perhaps.” She then took the scissors and SCRUNCH! Down went her hair, and Chris just sat there smiling. It was a lovely look on her.
Then the camera faded to black. When the camera faded in, Christina’s hair was restored. Angie spoke up.
“And now it’s time to give her a short inverted bob. Here we go.”
With scissors and comb in hand, Angie went to work on her friend’s head. Snip, snip, snip. Within moments, Chris was given a cute bob that was barely to her ears. And again the camera faded out, and when the camera faded in again, Chris’s hair was back to normal!
“And now, the fun stuff. Time to use this….” Angie held up a large set of Wahl clippers. “Time to give our friend a real haircut, eh, folks? Let’s start with a flattop.”
On cue, Christina chimed in.
“Uh, a flattop? Whoa, I thought it was just the scissor techniques, then we were done.”
“Come on, where’s your spirit? Besides, think of the cause, think of those kids at Locks of Love….”
“Okay,” said Chris, then she sat still for the flattop. Angie took the clippers and added a Number 3 guard to them. She then made a very large ponytail for Chris, and began to mow through the tail until all that was left was an odd-looking bob. After handing the tail to Chris, Angie began to mow her hair quickly. In mere moments, she began to sport a stylish flattop.
The next scene opened with Chris’s hair back to its original length from the beginning of the tape.
“And now,” said Angie, “a pixie.”
Angie then cut Chris’ hair until it became a very sexy looking pixie. For variety, she even left the bangs on the front, to add flair to the style.
The last scene started with Angie having a Cheshire Cat-esque grin.
“And now, for the finale, of course, the headshave.”
Again, on cue, Christina spoke up.
“Angie, look, I did the flattop, I did the pixie and other styles, but a headshave?”
Standing behind her with the clippers in hand, without attachment, Angie said, “You know, you’re right. This has been too much for you, and… ah, ah, achoo!”
With that ‘achoo’, Angie plowed a path right down the middle of Chris’ head! Chris pretended to have a stunned look on her face. The stun turned into stunning as she grinned during her denuding. Angie used the clippers with utmost efficiency. Soon, all of Christina’s long black flowing tresses were at her feet. She wiggled her toes through her chopped locks. Angie then applied the shaving cream to her head, then wrapped a wet hot towel on her head.
“This is to make the stubble easy to come off her head,” Angie explained.
She then removed the towel, and added more shaving cream, then quickly, with a large stropping razor, shaved her friend’s head. She then felt her head for any misses she may have had; she had no misses. She then gave Chris a big sloppy kiss on top of her freshly shaved head. There was a large lipstick print on her scalp.
“Well, you’ve seen many techniques today, and I hope you’ve enjoyed them all. Good night, everybody.”
The camera faded to black, and the tape ended.
After sending multiple copies of the tape to many haircut video distributors, mostly in an effort to get some of their ware for free via a tape trade, John and the ladies started making other tapes, mostly based on the stories seen in the Haircut Story Archive. They especially loved doing the tale ‘Kelli’s Stooge Lesson’ (they did two versions, one starring Angie, and one with Christina). Their hair adventures would continue, and where it went from there, no one knew.