Letter from Swapna – Swapna [email protected]
There is one thing in my life that I can say is the worst event of humiliation felt by any woman. I was humiliated to the edge of my temper that I could hardly think this could have happened to any woman of this world. I led my life with my parents in a village in India. I was married at the age of twelve. My husband is running a garment business at Dubai. After marriage I had to leave to Dubai with him. My married life is more than a year old, and I have been always treated as his slave. He has never cared or given any respect for my feelings. To be frank I am not too modern. I like to wear saris, but he does not like that, he wants me exposed and always made me wear skirts that are very short having a low cut neckline, and I thought that I could adapt to this in course of time. He made me work naked at my house. He says that he always likes to see my legs and butt. But the day came when I was treated as a thing that has no self-respect.
It is only ten days after my marriage. We settled at our new apartment. My husband said he is off for the next day and said we have been invited for a party by his friend tomorrow. This is the day I can never forget for I understood his real behaviour, and the day after which I was deprived of freedom from my life.
The day was Tuesday it was about 3 o’clock. I woke up from a short sleep after lunch. I felt a bit slag so I decided to get a shower and get ready for the party. He was still sleeping. When I returned after the shower, he was pressing his Sunday suit. He asked me to hurry. I asked him, “But why, we have enough time?”
He said, “Just do what I say.” He has never been so rude before this. I did not say anything after that when he came to me with a packet in his hand. He unwrapped it and I hardly could recognise what it was until he said, “Wear this.” I thought that he was joking. I refused and went in to get myself ready. I like to dry my long hair with the dryer. I thought of pinning my hair up, finally I decided to braid it to feel free. I decided to wear my marriage sari. I came out after my dressing when I found my husband sitting and biting his nails. He came to me. “Come on. You will have to wear this for me.”
I said, “This is too short.”
I tried to refuse until his voice changed and he ordered, “WEAR IT!” I was stunned. I have never seen him like this. He caught me by my arm and took me to the bedroom. I tried to prevent but he undressed me forcefully. He said, “You will look pretty in this and this will show your sexy breast and legs.” I had never worn a dress that is above my knee. I felt awkward and very uncomfortable. The dress was high above my knees; even my hair almost fell to the edge of the dress. For the first time in my life I felt the cool air on my legs and on my shoulders. I literally started to cry and pleaded with him when he took me to the car, but there was no response. I was thinking how to manage with this in the party, in the car. Just then he caught my braided hair and said, “Your hair is thick and it will look good when you cut it.” I have never cut my hair in a parlour for I am afraid they would cut shorter than what I wanted, so my mom usually trims my hair and I always make sure she does the way I instructed her to. For my whole life I haven’t had my hair above hip length. It has been some time since I have trimmed my hair, but I was nervous of getting my hair cut at a barber shop.
I said in a soft voice, “I will trim it myself.”
“No, you will have to do it now.”
He stopped the car and parked it. I did not find any barbershop there. I was praying to god and was afraid of what was waiting for me next. He opened a door, it was an apartment and led me in. A lady came and invited us, and she said, “I am waiting for you.” He introduced the lady to me and he said that she was a very close friend of his. She looked really crude. She came to me and said, “You look very rural and your husband has requested me dress you up in a good modern way.” I then realised everything was previously arranged. She took me to the chair and caped me. “Wow, good heavens,” she said surprised, lifting up my hair. Then she went aside to talk with my husband. I could not hear what they were saying. She came back to me and unbraided my hair. She took a hairbrush and she started. She brushed as if she brushed a horse and my hair hung loose below the chair.
I looked at my husband and said, “Please just a trim.”
He said, “I will look into that.”
I saw her pulling the drawer and taking a pair of scissors. She caught hold of my head and she bent my head down so I was not able to see the mirror. I could hear the cutting sound of scissors. My head was left loose but still I did not have any idea of how much she had cut.
My husband came near and said, “You can go a little more above.”
“No, it is enough,” I said.
“It is only hair you would look good after this,” he said.
I started to sweat and the woman held my head down and started to cut. I could feel the scissors sound move closer. I was really astounded to see my hair cut 3 to 4 inches above my hip. I jumped out of the chair, I threw the cape and I saw my hair hung only to the middle of my back. I started to cry looking at my husband and large locks of my hair spread down. He came to me.
“It looks good and we will even this up.”
I said, “It is more than what you said.” I started to walk towards the door.
He suddenly caught me by my shoulder and said, “This is not over. You will have to cut your hair much more shorter so that you can manage it easily.” Saying this he started forcing me to the chair. I tried to escape when the lady came and lifted my legs and my husband lifted me holding my arms and they made me sit in the chair. My husband was searching for something. He found a tape, he took that and he taped my hand together with the arm of the chair. He did the same to my other arm. She caped me quickly. I was struggling to escape. He pushed my shoulders towards the chair and asked the lady to bring a rope. Within seconds I was tied up. I was shaking my head pleading to leave me alone. My husband asked the lady to carry on. This time I had no idea of what they were up to. He caught my head at the top.
The lady got the scissors in her hand and said, “You will look great after this.” I stared looking at the mirror sobbing, like a goat going to be slaughtered by the butcher. I was not able to move, my body tightly held.
The lady started to brush the remaining hair and she wetted it a little bit. She placed the shears a little below my chin and closed them. I started to sob vigorously when I saw almost 9 inches of my hair falling on my lap. She then went on to cut my hair at the back and within minutes I was left with a bob just a little above my shoulders. My husband examined my cut very closely.
He said, “It seems very thick and dense at the back. What do you think?”
She combed the hair at the top down. My face was fully covered with hair, I was not able to see anything at the front. I heard her say, “Now the back is even and looks good.”
My husband said, “Yes it looks good, you can cut the bangs.”
I did not understand what “bangs” meant. Just then I felt the steel of scissors touching my forehead. I was astonished to see the lady cutting the hair over my forehead. It was cut short to almost 2 inches above the eyebrows. I looked very funny, like a 5-year-old child.
My husband untied me. I got down, he touched my hair and said, “You look really cute darling.”
I was blinking, it didn’t seem real. I was thinking about that long hair that went below my hips and now I stand with a bob. I was really angry at both of them for what they had done to me. The lady came near me and kissed me on my cheek. I pushed her with all my strength. My husband stared at me and helped the lady to get up. She stood surprised and looked in horror at what I have done.
He went to the door and locked it. He came and took the rope and tied my hands at the back. To my surprise he started to pull my skirt up to undress me I started to shout. He then used the tape to seal my mouth and stripped me. I sat down quickly, feeling ashamed.
He said, “You care too much for your hair. I am going to make you hairless,” and asked the lady to shave my head. The lady was happy that I was punished and she brought some clippers. I could not believe my fate. My husband lifted me and made me stand bare before the mirror. The lady removed the cap of the clippers and switched it on. I could hear a slow sound. She did not even care and brought the clippers before my forehead and made a quick pass right down the middle. I saw clumps of my hair falling like rain and it looked like removing a huge amount of dust from a shelf. I could see the lady enjoying herself. Within several passes I was completely shaved. I did not dare look at the mirror. Just then my husband pointed to my eyebrows. They were completely taken and next my eyelashes were cut. He then made me lie down. I understood the purpose. The lady came down to me and without any shame she passed the clippers on my pussy. My body vibrated when they did this to me.
She said, “Your naked thing looks cute.”
My husband untied me. He asked me to put on the dress and I did as he said. I was put in the car. I understood that this was the party and it was completed in the way he wished.