Risk It All by Gloria Klien
“And their names and addresses?”
The studio audience roared with laughter, and Davina’s heart sank. She had been well and truly set up, all the sure fire answers to the Titanic questions had upped her prize money and kept her dignity reasonably intact during the final round of “Risk it All”, but now she was about to lose not only the money, but all her hair too, and in front of a nationwide audience. All right, her once chic blonde bob was now a frizzed-up, multi-coloured puff ball like some demented Afro, her once immaculate make-up had been replaced by a garish clown’s white face with enormous down-turned mouth, a huge red nose, and exaggerated eyebrows (her own, once so carefully plucked, had been lost forever back in round 2). But so far everything was salvageable, or so the Studio Manager had assured her, as they led her away after the opening round to the preparation area. “Don’t worry, it will de-frizz and the dyes are all wash-out,” the hairdresser had said as the chemicals started to take effect and Davina, once the most chic and alluring girl in the studio was turned into Davina the Clown, contestant on “Risk it All’s Circus Special”. But to lose it all… to be totally bald, Davina started to tremble with fear as her executioner Clipper approached. How she hated this man, so far she’d been forced to sit there grinning inanely, and laughing along with the MC’s jokes, while he shaved off her eyebrows, and cut and ripped her favourite dress and underwear to shreds. As sustained nudity wasn’t allowed, he had then painted her body so that it looked if she was wearing a clown’s stripy shirt and raggedy shorts. As for her poor crotch it was still so sore. Back in Round 4, a wrong answer to an easy Star Trek question had seen her tied upside down in the barbers chair, her legs bent double over the headrest and her head dangling helplessly just above the floor. In keeping with tonight’s Circus Theme, and to the delight of the audience, Clipper and his henchman Cropper proceeded to give Davina’s soft mass of pubic hair the “Shave and a Haircut” Routine. Using clown-size brushes and a razor, her thick bush was repeatedly soaped, lathered and shaved, the audience loved every minute and so obviously did Clipper, never missing a chance to cop a feel as he spread more and more lather on her denuded mons. The outcome was she no longer had any pubic hair, her naked crotch had been painted blue to match her “shorts” and she was very, very sore.
The countdown had started… “Eight, Seven, Six…” Clipper now had a firm hold of the back of her head and the electric shears were poised dead centre on her forehead. “Five, Four, Three…” a flick of the switch and the blades sprang into life, ice ran through her veins and her heart started to pound. “Two, One, LOSE IT ALL…” the audience screamed, and Clipper forced the machine through the puffed-up multi-coloured frizz, leaving a white path of exposed scalp from forehead to crown. Again and again the blades traversed her head. Davina sat there stunned as brightly-coloured hair fell onto her shoulders, into her lap and onto the studio floor. Snapping off the shears, Clipper stood back to admire his handiwork, and Cropper took over. Using the same brush and razor that had vandalised Davina’s crotch earlier, the top of her head was shaved completely bald, leaving the remnants of her clown hairdo still puffed up around the back and sides. Gasping as she saw herself in the monitor for the first time, she wondered with mounting horror why they had stopped when they did. The deal was “Risk it All” after all. Her worst fears were soon realised. “Ice and Fire,” the MC whispered in her ear, Davina didn’t know what he meant, but the Studio Audience did, and they erupted with cheers and applause as Clipper and Cropper returned each carrying a large steel bucket, Davina watched in horror the condensation forming on the steel and the rattle of the ice cubes as they put the buckets down and could only dread how cold the water was inside, water that was about to be dumped all over her. But first more fun, she was now firmly tied to the chair for another clown routine. This time, her face was the target, and how the audience loved it as her tormentors soaped, lathered and shaved away at her pretty face. The rougher they were the more the audience laughed, only encouraging them to pour on more soap, brush harder and razor away at her sore, reddening skin. With a final flourish, Clipper took the largest shaving brush they had, loaded it with soap, and as Cropper held her head, forced it hard and deep into Davina’s mouth. Gagging on the large soapy brush, and with her eyes blinded and stinging, she couldn’t utter a sound or see what was happening.
Now the fire … the audience fell silent in hushed anticipation, the studio lights dimmed and Davina sat there, trembling, the hair that had been spared now soaked with a special gel. If she had been able to speak, or see what they were about to do to her, she would have begged to be released, but the last routine had been chosen so as not to spoil the audience’s fun, and she could only utter a muffled scream as they set light to her hair. The gel took, bursting into a fireball. Choosing their moment with slick expertise, Clipper and Cropper only doused their hapless victim with ice cold water when all her hair had been destroyed. So there she sat, shivering, all her beautiful hair gone and forever bald, a forlorn clown amongst the cheers and applause of the audience as the closing credits rolled.