Mark Kinder: Nape Bandit (His Own Personal Diary)

Mark Kinder: Nape Bandit (His Own Personal Diary) by Thoth

December 31, 1999:

Well, guess this is the countdown until the world ends. Oh yeah, now there’s the joke, this Y2K crap is just another capitalistic ploy so these panic-happy computer moguls can make a few bucks. Only two more days until a new century dawns. Looking at the clock it’s almost 9a.m., time for my “Linda fix”. She is the hottest neighbor to move into the apartment next to me, her short blonde hair is her best feature. I just love to watch her rub it as the wind picks up and playfully brushes the wedge-shaped cowlick on her neck, like an invisible hand tickling her neck (oh, if only it was mine, oh well, be right back).

Just in time, I even got a chance to see her skirt blow upwards a little bit. I know it’s not that much of a deal but Linda is a real sweetie, and with the heavy coats and galoshes, there is not that much of an opportunity to see much in the way of flesh, not until around summertime anyway. I should get ready for work, yes, though I can’t believe it, I have to work today, at least I can watch the ball drop at my friend’s place. He’s having a huge bash with plenty of beer and a nice spread of chow (if the lights are low, maybe I can kiss a few napes of unsuspecting ladies there, who knows?). One thing’s for certain, I should be a little more discreet, one of these days I’m going to get snagged, I’m not sure if it’s considered rape but I’m sure I’ll get in some deep shit with the cops if I’m not careful. All I really do is manage to smooch women’s napes, no big deal, but the way things are going I could face legal problems. A quick peck in a dimly-lit bar, theater or at the mall salon during a power failure (some of which I’ve created) I think is harmless. Maybe I’ll meet a compatible mate and put this whole nonsense behind me. As the 21st century approaches, I have thought to myself as to how I became so obsessed with women, women with short hair, women cutting hair and especially napes. Guess I’ll have to fill your pages with this self-analyzation of myself at a later time, right now it’s off to work at the mall, (and a little voyeurism on my lunch hour thanks in part to the fact that CUTTERS INC, a salon with all women employees is right across the place I work), and anticipation of the revelry about to take place at my friend’s apartment. So long for now, I’ll probably have a lot to write tomorrow if I’m not too sick, at least. I’m off, bye for now. Linda was looking great :))

January 2,2000:

What a night! I’m surprised I’m not comatose, the party was great, though I don’t remember much. I did see a couple of cute women there. One had a pixie, the other had a chili bowl cut. After a few drinks, and when the lights in my friend’s apartment were turned off, I began to feel really good. At that point I wasn’t going to try to attempt to sneak in a kiss or two but when the ball did drop, I managed a conventional kiss from the one with the pixie. (It’s the other one I was interested in, with the shaved nape.) I’m not too sure what happened after that, I may or may not have attempted anything with the other lady though after a few wine coolers, beer and other stuff one is apt to do just about anything. My inhibitions are brought into the open after a few drinks and I fear I may have tried something. If I did, I hope I didn’t piss her off (or get caught he, he, he). Oh well the cops haven’t broken my door down and that’s a good sign. I hope to catch a glimpse of Linda today, she’s the real object of my affection, I’m sure with a little more talking she’ll learn to like me.

January 10, 2000:

Between work and studying I haven’t had time to jot down anything. Looks like Cutters Inc. got a new facelift. The interior is painted a soft yellow with polished black and white tiles, a nice change from the plain white ones before, I suppose the next time I go in for a trim, I’ll feel like a pawn being moved by several, and to my astute observations rather beautiful, queens. During my break when I sit across from the salon “reading” (a nice euphemism for voyeurism), I did notice a dramatic change in staff attire. Per usual it was an all-female staff but gone are the skin-tight sweaters and tank-tops of the 20th century Cutters Inc. In fact these ladies look strangely attractive – even more so than before. Some wore jeans while others wore short, but not too short, skirts. Each wore a light-colored blouse that was buttoned up to the neck which is, in my opinion, professional… but pretty. I’m glad to see one of the stylists was gone, though, she was cute as hell with her tight tops and micro-mini skirts but a total slasher with the scissors. I went in there for a trim once and, well, it was probably my fault because I was looking at the blonde curls which cascaded down her back and her hoop earrings more than at what she was doing. Friendly enough and talkative despite the fact I couldn’t understand her between the pops she made with her bubble gum, she snipped and snipped away, and before I knew it, a nice island was forming in my lap. Looking in the mirror, I was aghast at what I saw, my hair was all uneven with several sides shorter than the other.

“Wow, sorry about that…” was all she could say, again this was said between smacks and pops of gum. She stood for about ten minutes, which seemed like hours for me, snipping her scissors, and humming saying, “hmmmmmmmm what can I do?”

The solution, out came the Osters and my hack-job by this vivacious nitwit with banana curls was reduced to a half-inch crewcut which I must admit felt rather sensuous. Like I said she was hot but couldn’t give a haircut worth a damn. I assume she didn’t want to work for the new owner or decided to use her clippers on labradors, collies, and poodles as opposed to humans, that’s probably what became of her, being the “Help Wanted” sign in Gina’s Dog salon was taken down as I passed by there this morning. I may go back to this place for a trim soon who knows, maybe even create another “power failure” in that part of the mall and sneak in a few smooches on the napes of clients being sheared by the new personnel. All was quiet today but as soon as I see a young lady being shorn… it’s lights out heh, heh, heh.

January 23, 2000:

It’s been a bummer for the past two weeks, Linda just cannot understand that we belong together, every morning, before getting ready for classes, I make effort after effort to watch Linda walk to her car, and rubbing her nape the way she does when a gust of wind blows. I have managed to talk to her a few times but she acts totally uninterested. This is what I cannot understand, we’re meant to be together, we both like the same movies, she’s a cat-lover like myself, and I’m just as good-looking and intelligent as any guy she is dating now so what gives? I’ll give her time to come around, she’ll realize that I’m the one for her.

January 25, 12:midnight:

If I didn’t see it, I wouldn’t have believed it. I was coming back from lunch today, and the scene I encountered in the parking lot was quite amusing. It seems this brat of a girl had wanted something from the mall, what, I don’t know. Anyway, she was accompanied by two adult women who were desperately trying to get her to behave. All this girl could do was carry on until finally she called one of the ladies a bitch. The woman with a graying pageboy finally threw up her hands in disgust. She rummaged through her bags, producing a pair of orange-handled scissors still wrapped in its container. Swiftly she picked the girl up, and swatted her several times before calling to the other woman to restrain her. While the other woman held the girl, a swift schnick of the scissors removed the ponytail that was quaintly tied by a flowery-looking hair elastic.

“There, now that should teach you, don’t you ever call me that again,” the woman scolded.

The girl screamed louder when the mother, I think, finally joined the two women. While talking to the two women, the girl kept screaming, “Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!” until her mom finally cracked her across the mouth and asked the woman with the pageboy to hold her again. Reaching in her bags now, her mom brought out a red Oster haircut kit which she plugged into the lighter. Though usually loud, the clippers whispered in comparison to the girl’s screams as the Osters peeled off what was an uneven bob. Soon these screams would be muffled by the closing of a car door which soon pulled out of the parking space. The little girl’s hair sat in the lot for a few seconds before a gust of wind soon blew it away, I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen some weird stuff in my day but as of today this takes the cake.

I also decided to give Cutters Inc. another try. I went in today to make an appointment for a trim. The person I talked to was Heather, cute, tall, slender with blonde hair tied in a French twist. She was dressed in the manner I described before but she also wore a feminine ribbon tie. Unlike the others she also wore a black hairdresser’s apron. Since I didn’t know any of the staff she said she’s take me. I assume she is the owner, I’m not sure – guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

February 2, 2000:

Another busy week, well the haircut was in one word… sensuous. Heather is really hot and quite curvaceous even through her apron and blouse. She has a smile that could hypnotically convince you to allow her to shave you bald, luckily for me, my will was stronger, and a more interesting lady happened to pass the salon. Linda was walking by when I left the salon, and I managed to talk to her for a minute. She admired my haircut with both adoring eyes and a few strokes of her cold fingers along my shorn nape. She said it reminded her she had to make an appointment to have her hair cut as well too. With an ulterior motive in mind I told her to try Cutters and ask for Heather, which she did soon after. Later that day, I felt my neck where Heather has cleaned it with both a straight razor and clippers, and it felt smooth but a little stubbly, you know the feeling you get not long after the stylist clips your nape? She still looked fine, with that smile of hers and her tits nearly brushed my face when she was cutting the front. Well, I got some planning to do, Linda is going in for her haircut tomorrow and well, it looks like things will be “dark” tomorrow.

February 3, 2000:

I think I may have got caught, but I’m not sure. As scheduled Linda showed up for her appointment. The minute I saw Heather cape her, shampoo her, sit her in the chair and start cutting, I put my plan into work. I watched, making sure that both no one would see me and that Heather had began cutting away showing some of Linda’s nape. When I knew the clippers would be turned on I snuck into a side door which led to a circuit panel. Being close to the salon I knew I would have time to get in a smooch or two and get out of there before the lights came back on. After all, I was becoming quite an expert at this. I hit the switch marked “Cutters Inc.” and four others in the same area and listened to the muffled and confused gasps of the patrons in that immediate area. I made my way to the salon, nuzzzled Linda’s ear and began kissing her neck amidst her violent squirms and protests. I reached down, and per usual grabbed clumps of her hair that had fallen to the floor and was walking out when the room flooded with light. I’m pretty sure that no one saw me kissing her but I’m almost positive that one of the stylists saw me with a good handful of her hair even though I tried to hide it discreetly. So far the cops aren’t knocking on my door and I guess no news is good news, but still for now I’d better hang low.

February 6, 2000:

So far so good, which is ok, I’ll be quite busy the rest of the month anyway between work and school. If I feel the urge to see women cut hair there are plenty of sites on the Internet with live web cams and a great site from The Netherlands that is totally dedicated to women who cut the hair of men, other women and even themselves, and there’s always good ole Victoria’s Secret should my modem die, so the best thing to do is lay low until I know for sure everything is cool.

February 14, 2000:

Linda still cannot understand, I tried to give her roses and she totally blew me off. When I asked her out she flatly refused. She must realize that I’m the only one for her, I have a special place where I store the shorn hair I took from the salon, when I get bummed out over not being able to convince Linda I’m the one for her, I take a sniff and feel so much better. Things will come around eventually I know, she’ll realize my persistence is only for the best, and I’m doing only what I think is right for her. I did notice the salon has shades half drawn, I hope they don’t suspect me.

February 15, 2000:

Just as I suspected, I was questioned by both the police and security. Though they didn’t come right out and ask, I’m sure they’re suspicious, so I guess I’d better lay low. Linda still won’t talk to me she just needs to be convinced that’s all.

March 5, 2000:

The word for today is “busy”. Between studies and work I have no time to do anything. Things are quiet at the mall, and I’ve really been enjoying the hair site dedicated to women cutting hair. It’s updated every month and they have a “This Month’s Favorite”, which I like and they even have movies you can download. Awesome, I think I’ll move to Europe – lots of people seem to share my interest in hair.

March 7, 2000:

I tell you what, I’m going to be glad school will be out on break in another week. It’s work, work, work. I think I need another trim, I’ll have to look for another place though, going back to Cutters Inc. would probably be a bad idea. Linda just says “hi” in a cold way, I’ll just have to use more persuasion like I had to do with other women who felt they didn’t like me.

March 12, 2000:

I must have a divining rod that finds bad hairdressers. Well it was off to the Cut-O-Rama for a haircut and guess who works there? The cutie with the blonde curls to her waist that butchered me between smacks of bubblegum chewing. Her name is Tara, that much I did find out, and she still wears the same hoop earrings she wore at Cutters Inc. Her skirts were still microscopic and the light blue sweater she was wearing looked as if it was painted on her. Nervous as I was, she caped me and began to wash my hair. I must admit her hands caressing my hair felt goooood, and she does have a nice smile. She sat me at her station and began cutting. I noticed she was a little more cautious and she had stopped chewing her gum. She snipped slowly around my ears and was beginning to cut the back when she stopped.

“I know you,” she said. I looked puzzled but she didn’t seem upset. That was when she said, “Hold on,” and out came a set of red clippers which in the empty salon seemed to reverberate off the walls. Before I could say anything, she cut a swath right down the middle of my head.

“I remember you like a crew, it’s been a while huh,” she said, giggling. Within seconds all my hair was once again in my lap, though the pile was a lot smaller than the last time. She did mention that she went to the bar down the street after work, I may go down there later and talk to her. Come to think of it, I will, school is out and I think she could use the company.

March 13 11am:

Tara was a little apprehensive when I came in. I told her that cutting my hair that short was not a good idea and that I didn’t like my hair that short. I may have lost my temper but she could have at least let me buy her a drink. I ended up leaving and I did run into her later. It was outside the bar that I persuaded her to see things in a different light. I seem to be getting better at persuading people.

Later-

It seems Linda was running late too, I walked out and began to talk to her, it took a little time but I think she now sees things my way.

Epilogue:

On a routine check, local police noticed some bloody fingerprints on the door of Linda Buford’s car. Noticing a figure inside the tainted glass of the car, police soon discovered the brutally battered body of Miss Buford. Remembering the markings found on the body of Tara Greensilk the night before, detectives searched, and found familiar hair samples on both bodies. Police didn’t have to search far, for hair samples taken from Linda matched the samples discreetly taken from Mark Kinder during his questioning. After a full investigation, Mark Kinder was finally convicted of both the murder of Tara Greensilk and Linda Buford. Further investigation led detectives to several unsolved murders he committed over the past three years.

 

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