Mad as Hell

Mad as Hell by Buzz (Buddy)

Mad, I don’t think I have ever seen my sister so mad…. She was really pissed that her husband shaved off his beard. My sis has always had this thing for guys with whiskers. I asked her what on earth was so important about his beard. She said it was part of the deal, she would never cut her hair if he promised to grow a beard. My sister had been married to him for 7 years. When they met, her red hair was just above her shoulders. Now it was in the middle of her back. Jack wanted her to grow her hair long and never cut it. He had this thing for women with long red hair. Well Janet wanted her hair cut, but to please her new boyfriend she agreed to let it grow.

Now 7 years later, Jack started messing around on Janet. I guess you could say he has the seven year itch. Part of Jack’s new image was to shave off that beard. Now this is what has my sister so mad, not so much that fact that the asshole is messing around on her, it’s that she did everything for him and this is the way he treats her.

I heard her saying, “I’ll teach that asshole!” and with that she headed for the kitchen and was rummaging through the kitchen draws. She found the scissors and was ranting about showing him a thing or two.

I watched in horror as my sister took the scissors in a fit of anger and started grabbing chunks of her long red hair and started hacking it off at the scalp. I tried to stop her, but she said that she was going to do it. I didn’t feel like getting decked by my sister, after all I know how wild she can get when she’s mad. I stood back and just watched as she slashed lock after lock of her hair off. My poor sister’s hair was flying all over the place, she was swearing and going wild.

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Just as she started to hack off her long bangs, the door flew open and in came Jack. He was frantic. He ran over to my sister all the time yelling at me to help him stop his wife from butchering her hair. I yelled to him, “No way, she’s pissed!” He managed to get Janet into a bear-hug, just as the last of her bangs came off under the ravages of the 7-inch scissors. He tried to calm her down, yelling for her to stop cutting her hair. The scissors were finally wrestled away from Janet, but the fists started to fly, good thing the Jack had a hold of her….

After 10 minutes of screaming and yelling my sister calmed down enough for poor Jack to talk to his almost bald wife. Jack was trying to find out why she was mutilating her lovely long red hair. Janet started to cry, now realizing what she had done to her crowning glory. Jack comforted her, and listened as she told him how she was upset that he would shave off his beard without even consulting her. Jack could not believe his ears. His sweet wife had chopped all her hair off at strange angles to get back at him. He felt so bad.

Jack comforted his wife and explained to her that it was for her that he shaved off his beard. You see, the company for which Jack worked wanted to transfer him and his family to Southern California, a place that Janet had always wanted to go to live, but the image the company wanted to project was for a clean cut individual in sales to get the job. The boss had promised Jack the transfer if he would shave off his trademark beard. Jack explained to his wife that he only shaved off his beard so that she could finally get a chance to move to California, and that the only way for this to happen was to give in and shave off his beard. As for the woman he was suspected of seeing, she was the Sales manager in Southern California, his new boss.

Janet just sat there dumbfounded amidst all her cut-off hair, her head looking ragged and sticking up at strange angles. Her tears stained her face. She started to cry, and asked Jack to forgive her for doing so much damage to her once long hair. Jack reached up and held his wife’s small cropped head, and told her how sorry he was for not telling her. They both managed a small smile amongst the tears. Then Jack told my wife that Mrs. Repely the Sales Manager from California was on her way over to take them both out for supper and drinks right now to celebrate. You should have seen the look on my sister’s face as she reached up and felt her butchered red hair.

The End

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