Kelli’s Stooge Lesson

Kelli's Stooge Lesson

Kelli’s Stooge Lesson – DPTemplar

Kelli was a nice girl who loved to keep herself looking appropriate; she always tried to look nice, and tried to stay as clean as possible. Her great personality, her brains, her lovely face, and her long strawberry blonde hair made her a very desirable woman, but one man, Chuck, had won her heart. His looks, brains, and personality brought them closer, but what she loved also was his sense of humor, which was put into question one night. She heard laughter coming from her living room. She walked in to find Chuck laughing at the Three Stooges.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“Oh, this is a classic! It’s when Curly is boxing, so he needs the song ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ to upset him enough to so that he’d punch out his opponent quickly! HA, HA, HA! This one is great.”

“How?” asked Kelli. “How is this funny?”

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“Honey, many men and women, particularly guys, find the Stooges funny.”

A bothered Kelli asked, “Well, how come they’re funny?”

“Because they are…..” stated Chuck.

“Well,” said Kelli, “I don’t think so; they’re so idiotic. Why anyone this… this CRAP is funny is beyond me!”

At this moment, something snapped in Chuck’s mind, due to Kelli’s statement and attitude. “Hey, Kelli, how about we play a quick game of poker? One hand,” he said. “If you win, then we’ll go to the finest restaurant in town all next week, and I’ll pay!”

Kelli loved the idea, but was a bit cautious. “And if I lose?” she asked nervously.

“Well, next Friday night, make no plans, for you’re going to be mine for the whole night.” He finished the sentence with a sly grin and a kiss, then he dealt the cards. After the cards were dealt and drawn, the result was Kelli had 3 queens. Chuck had two pair–10s and 10s. Chuck won the bet, and he gave out a large grin. Kelli got nervous….

As the days progressed, Kelli was slowly getting less and less nervous. That was, until that Tuedsay. On that day, he had to go get his hair cut. While he was getting the clippers ready, the barber looked at Chuck, then at Kelli, then shook his head and laughed. This disturbed Kelli quite a bit.

Finally, Friday came to the couple. Being scared that he’d want the humiliation to occur at her office, she called him up. “No honey, it won’t be at work although I did think about it. It’ll be at my place, after dinner. I’ll have the stuff over there. See ya tonight, baby. Bye.” She royally freaked out now – what “stuff” was he going to have at the house?

After dinner, the two got close. He asked to wash her hair. She agreed to it; she didn’t mind being pampered, and besides, sometimes he’d wash her hair, and vice versa. He washed her hair with a mild shampoo, then combed her hair, then washed it again, this time with a stronger shampoo, then recombed her hair. Once he finished combing, he said, “Okay, now it’s time to play.” He pulled out a chair in the middle of his kitchen floor. He then went to his bedroom to get his camcorder. After setting up the camera, he and Kelli got in front of the camera. He said, “Hi. This is Kelli, and due to a game we played, she lost, and now, she has to use her brains to get out of this situation. First, she has to strip.”

“Strip?” she asked. He then reminded her of the nude tape she made for him for his birthday. She remembered, then agreed to peel off her clothes. After being in her birthday suit, which indeed was a true sight for sore eyes, she sat in the chair. He then began to duct tape her arms to the arm rests and her ankles to the legs of the chair.

“This is so you won’t get loose,” he explained. She started to panic big time. He then went behind the camera and started to direct his auburn-haired sweetheart. “Stooge Trivia!” he shouted. “Here’s how we play. I’ll give 3 questions, and one bonus question. Get all of them right, and nothing happens. Miss one or all of them, then you pay the penalty. You’re a smart girl, so you should do well. Are you ready?”

Kelli knew very little of the Stooges, but she agreed to this madness, and said, “Ready.”

“Good! Let’s go! Question 1 – This one is simple. In the Stooges movie we saw the other day, Curl needed to hear ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ to excel in what sport?”

Remembering seeing a ring on TV, she blurted out, “Wrestling.”

“Oh!, So close – it was boxing. Now you must pay the penalty.” He got out a long sharp pair of scissors, then began to talk. “Oh, here’s the penalty. For each question you miss, you’ll be humiliated by having one of the Stooges’ hairstyles. Since you missed number 1, we’ll start you with Moe’s haircut.” And with that, he took a rubber band, and set her hair up into a nice pony tail and SNIP! SCRITCH!, off it went. Her hair still looked nice, but as Chuck pointed out, it wasn’t to Moe length yet, so he continued to cut his beauty’s hair until her hair length matched that of Moe Howard. She was starting to cry, and knew she had to get the next ones right.

“Okay, time for question 2. Look, if you get these next two plus the bonus correct, no more humiliation. Here’s the question. Joe Besser, who played one of the Stooges in his career, also had a gig working with a famous comedy duo. Who were they?”

Feverishly coming up with all the comedy duos she could conjure up in her head, she blurted out, “Uh…Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis?”

Chuck just said, “No, dear, afraid not. He worked with Abbott and Costello, back on their old TV show. That means another style – Larry’s haircut.”

It was then when she remembered that Larry had a bald spot at the front of his head. When she saw the clippers get plugged in, she began to panic. “Oh crap! Where did you get those?”

“From the barber shop, honey. He lent them to me today; I told him about this game just before I got my hair cut; that was why he was smiling at you funny and laughing the other day. I have to take good care of it, since it’s due back tomorrow.” With that being said, he removed the guard from the clippers, and held Kelli’s head in his left hand, and told her to keep still, and with the right hand, he guided the clippers around the front of her head, creating a bald spot until her hairstyle matched that of Larry Fine.

She started to cry, but Chuck tried his best to calm her down. “Shh….I know you’re upset, but the game’s not over yet. Here’s question 3, so compose yourself. Here it is – who were the original 3 Stooges?”

A look of total relief came upon Kelli’s face, and she triumphantly said, “Moe, Larry, and Curly!”


“What do you friggin’ mean, wrong? That’s the right answer, dammit!”

“No, it’s not. When they first started on stage, it was Moe, Larry, and Shemp; Curly took the job when they did their stuff on screen. So….that means you have lost again, and now, it’s time for Curly.”

Feeling absolutely defeated, she sadly gave in, and let her head be buzzed to a very small stubble.

“Ah, better, but it’s not bald enough. It needs to be shaved clean. While I’m at it, I’ll take the eyebrows, too.” So he got out some shaving cream and five Twin Blade razors with lubricated strips. He began to carefully shave his girlfriend’s eyebrows, then he washed her head with warm water, lathered her head and wrapped her head in a warm towel.

“Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me!”

“Oh, I do love you,” explained Chuck. “But since you brazenly bad-mouthed the Stooges, something just snapped in me; you needed to be taught a Stooge lesson!”

Those last words had an acidic sound to them. He then removed the towel, and lightly patted her head, then recoated her head with cream. He then began to shave her. Kelli couldn’t believe it – she was at her boyfriend’s place, naked and bound to a chair, in a forced shaving, with eyebrows included, all of this being recorded! He quickly and carefully scraped the cream and stubble off her head, then applied more and kept shaving until her head was shiny and smooth. She couldn’t believe what just happened!

“And now, for the bonus question. If you’re right, no more humiliation and embarrassment. If you’re wrong – oh well….”

How much more embarrassment could she go through? She’d just been smoothly shaven bald; what else could happen to her to humiliate her, she thought to herself.

“Here’s the question – who was the last Stooge to die?”

Kelli, with her beautiful glistening pate, uttered, “Is it Curly?”

“No,” said Chuck, “it was Moe. That means the last level of humiliation for your Stooge lesson. For as we know, if one thinks of the Stooges, one tends to think of these.” And with that, he went into another room.

When he came out, Kelli’s eyes widened. “Oh no! Please, God, not that! Please! I’ve learned my lesson!”

Chuck took the camera and narrated. “What has her so nervous? Why it’s these over here – these pies!” Chuck wheeled out a cart carrying 50 cream pies, consisting of Cool-Whip! Some were colored red, green, blue, or yellow, but most were white. “Yes, the Stooges took pies to a whole new level. Of course, since you have to get messy, I shouldn’t use them on you, but then again, you did miss the bonus, so…”

And with that, the pie onslaught began. Kelli’s lovely denuded head and face received pie after pie, while she sat there helpless, bound to the chair, all the while being videotaped. She was truly being humiliated and humbled. The last two pies were coated over with extra whipped cream, and he sandwiched her head with them. He then made her say “Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk,” then the taping was over.

Kelli did notice that throughout her humiliation, he was getting more and more aroused. He then had a surprise for her – a wig, that was an exact likeness of the hair she had just moments ago. That was her reward for being a good trooper throughout this ordeal, and also a reminder that she should watch her mouth next time. He helped her clean up, then they went to bed, with Chuck still aroused, and Kelli having been taught a nasty, if not bizarre, lesson.



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