Heaven by DPTemplar
Chuck was walking down the street, about to go to the corner store to play his lottery numbers, then SCREECH BOOM – he got hit by a car that was going too fast and didn’t check what was coming in front of him. Chuck wasn’t bleeding, externally or internally, but he was on the ground, his view getting hazy, losing consciousness, and slowly starting to feel at ease….
Chuck then saw a small fragment of light, then the light got bigger and bigger. It then shone in a majestic glow. He then saw an elderly man with a large book in one hand, and a plumed pen in the other. He looked at Chuck and exclaimed, “Welcome, my son; welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven!” This was indeed Heaven, since he saw amongst the angels Dr. King, Ghandi, JFK, and many more.
He then met an angel that said everything you loved on Earth would be represented for all eternity up in Heaven – sports, food, and even dreams and fantasies. After thinking about his love of seeing cute women getting buzzed and shaved, he was then tapped on the shoulder by a beautiful female angel who led his down a path which entered into an oasis, lush with palm trees, and a picturesque clean, clear lake. This female angel looked exactly like Andrea, the attractive female cop who’d had her head shaved on Earth, and was an absolute knockout. The only difference being that the angel’s hair reached down to her ankles. The woman, who quite literally was a heavenly vision, spoke.
“Hello, Chuck. I understand that among the things you loved on Earth, one was seeing attractive women getting their heads shaved. I liked that, so here I am – to be your personal shaving girl for all eternity.”
Chuck was now dumbfounded, as well as quite aroused. He didn’t know if he was allowed to be aroused in Heaven, and she said it was okay to experience arousal; now that he was in Heaven, it wouldn’t be a sin, not that it was much of a sin on Earth anyway. The next thing he knew, these scissors, clippers and shaving materials, as well as shampoo, a towel and a comb, materialized on the ground. Placing her long flowing hair into the lake, she got her hair nice and wet. He then began to wash her hair thoroughly. After washing every single strand, he carefully combed out all of her hair. She loved the feeling, and she wanted this moment to last forever. He then dried her hair with the towel, and got her hair into a very long ponytail, and with the scissors -SNICHKHT SCHNICHHT – the angelic woman now had shoulder length hair. He put a few strands into his pocket. He then used the clippers on her. He used the 2 guard on her head, and buzzed her until stubble remained. She giggled on how it felt on her head. He then removed the guard, and buzzed off the rest of her hair. She put her hands on her head, and commented on how it felt like a chick’s soft body. She was now ready for the cream.
He lathered her head with thick warm shaving cream, then wrapped her head in a towel, and then re-lathered. He then took the razor and scrapped the cream and stubble off her beautiful head. He then recoated her head and reshaved it; he shaved her five times to get her head shiny and smooth. They then kissed, then she had a major surprise for him. She got up and stood in front of him, and he again was dumbfounded. She started to grow her hair back – all of it! It was growing back at a rate so fast, it blew his mind. It was now back to its original length when they first met! She then said, “Thank you very much. That was fun, so let’s do it again!” As he was approaching her, he felt a small tug on his body, then the tug got stronger and stronger. He didn’t know who or what was pulling him, but the angel was now getting further and further away from him. Then it started to get darker and darker. He then heard a voice which said, “IT’S NOT YOUR TIME YET. PEACE BE WITH YOU, MY SON….”
“Hey! Are you okay?”
He looked up at the girl who asked the question and said, “Yeah, I’m fine. What happened?”
“Well, this dumbass hit you, and luckily you caught him in the corner of your eye, but not fast enough. He hit you, and must have knocked the wind out of you. You were out for about 15 seconds. Good thing I knew CPR.”
15 seconds? That felt like hours up in Heaven, and this girl, and a few other witnesses who are vouching for her, claim it was 15 seconds? It was very odd….
That night in bed, he got an interesting dream. The angel that he had met approached him in the dream and said, “I really enjoyed our time together, but it wasn’t truly your time to be up here yet. If you stay on the straight and narrow, you’ll be back up here again, to enjoy the splendors and riches of Heaven, as well as another shave or two. Until you come back up here, I’ll make sure you receive sweet dreams. By the way, check your pants.” She then kissed him, ran her fingers through her hair, then disappeared.
He woke up, and checked his pants. He pulled out long strands of hair. He then went back to bed, and from that day since, he’s been receiving the sweetest of dreams.