Carl reached over and shut off the alarm. He immediately felt the wave of nausea and pounding headache of a hangover. ‘Good god,’ he thought to himself, ‘I’m never gonna drink again. I swear it!’ He cautiously glanced to his right to see if he had awakened the woman whom he had met and brought home with him the night before. To his surprise she was gone. ‘Hmmmmmmm. Thank god. At least I don’t have to be falsely polite.’
He stumbled his way to the bathroom, relieved himself, then grabbed his toothbrush. As he scrubbed his teeth, his eyes floated upwards to the mirror. His mouth fell open in shock and dismay. “What the hell?” he yelled to no one. His hands began searching his head, trying to disprove what his eyes told him. But instead they confirmed it. Somehow, unbeknownst to him, he had managed to lose several large patches of hair. “God damn it! God damn it! What the hell did she do to me?” He knew instantly that the woman he had brought home with him had done this to him. But why? What the hell had he done? How could he not have felt it happening? What the hell was he gonna do now? Anger began to swell inside of him. He stomped around his apartment for a long while. Then when he realized there was nothing he could do about it, at least for the moment, he decided that he couldn’t walk around with his hair the way it now was. He got dressed and headed for the nearest barbershop.
The barber looked at him as though he were insane the minute he walked through the door. Carl explained what had happened. The barber, Jim, chuckled ever so briefly, then seeing the look in Carl’s eyes, sobered. “Have a seat, I’ll do what I can. But I should warn you, it’s gonna have to be pretty darn short! She did some serious damage.”
“Do what you have to do. Anything’s better than this.”
As he cut Carl’s hair, Jim felt compelled to comment on his situation. “Maaaaaaannnnnn, if some broad ever did anything like this to me, I’d give her a taste of her own medicine, and see how she liked it.”
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“I’d love to! Unfortunately I only know her first name.”
“Damn! Well maybe you’ll get lucky and meet up with the bitch again.”
A few minutes later, Carl was looking at his new haircut. A short flattop. Fortunately, he had the looks to pull it off well. But that didn’t make him feel any better. He paid the barber and left. On his way home he was a seething bundle of hatred. He looked at the road, but his eyes saw her face. Then, as though it were an acid flashback or something, his eyes saw a license plate number. “Un-fucking real!” he shouted. For some unknown reason, he had glanced at her license plate last night, and for some other unknown reason, he now remembered it. He pounded his foot down on the accelerator.
Home once more, he grabbed the phone and hurriedly dialed.
“Department of Motor Vehicles. How may I direct your call?” He asked for his high school friend Bob. A few seconds later, Bob picked up.
“Bob? It’s me Carl.”
“Hey Carl, what’s up?”
“I need a favor bud. A real big favor.”
“If I can.” Carl told Bob what had happened.
“You gotta be shittin’ me! What the hell did she do that for?”
“How the hell should I know? Anyway, I think I remember her license plate number, and I was wondering if you’d run it for me?”
“Are you kidding? Of course I’ll run it. What are you gonna do?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m so fucking mad right now that I’m not gonna do anything until I calm down a bit. Otherwise I might end up strangling her.”
“Good call. Ok, I’ll run it and call you back.”
Ten minutes later the phone rang. Carl jotted down the information and thanked Bob once again. A half hour later he sat in his parked car across the street from the address listed on her registration. Within minutes, she emerged from the house, hopped in her car and sped off, never taking ever a cursory notice of him. Carl drove off in the opposite direction. Tonight he would take his revenge.
Holly pulled her car into the driveway and shut it off. She gathered the grocery bags from the back and went inside. As the door shut, she felt a strong hand clamp down on her mouth, and a strong arm wrap itself around her neck. An asp’s voice was in her ear. “Move one muscle bitch, and I’ll choke you out.” She stood completely motionless.
“I’m gonna take my hand and arm away. Make a move, or try to scream, and you’ll feel more pain then you ever felt was possible. Understand?” She nodded. He released his grip. “Turn around you fuckin’ whore.” Slowly she turned. It was difficult to make anything out for sure due to the darkness, but she was reasonably sure she already knew who her attacker was.
“Look, I’m really very sorry for what I did. Take whatever you want, just please don’t hurt me. Here, take my money.” She reached for her purse. A cold hard hand slammed into the side of her face. “I told you not to move!”
“Oh god, I’m sorry! Please don’t hit me again!” She felt a hand entwine itself into her hair and start pulling her towards the kitchen. She was then placed gruffly into a chair.
“You like to cut hair bitch? Let’s see how you like a taste of your own medicine.” She felt the blades touch her scalp then start moving. Then she felt the soft thud on her thigh as the first hank of her hair hit. With seemingly impossible speed, she felt handfuls of her hair being yanked and chopped off roughly. She was ordered to open her mouth, which she did, and was rewarded with a handful of her hair being crammed into it after which she was ordered not to spit it out. There she sat, with her mouth full of hair while the barbaric shearing continued. A moment later she heard a loud pop, followed by a steady humming sound. She knew that sound. Her head was forced forward and down. The clipper sped over her head from nape to forehead. Time and again the clipper made its chattering way across her pate, until with a final stroke, the last of her hair slid silently to the floor. A second louder hum filled the air and an electric razor began to chew away the very last remnants of her once mid back length honey blond hair. Within seconds she was completely denuded. The asp spit in her ear again. “Fuck with me over this, and I’ll be back. You know what I mean.” She heard a faint rustling sound, and he was gone.
Carl sped through the night, his mind a tangled mess of fear. She would surely call the cops for what he just did. How could he allow his anger to get him in a predicament like this? He locked himself in his apartment and waited for the fateful knock on the door that he was sure would come.
Across town, Holly stood in front of the bathroom mirror getting the last strands of hair out of her mouth. That done, she regarded her reflection in the mirror. Bald. Completely BALD! An evil grin crossed her lips. “I can’t believe it,” she said out loud. “Finally, FINALLY! At last one of my victims took revenge.”
Sinshearly yours, Billd (Clipper) If thy hair offends thee, cut it off.